Self awareness

17 April 2016

Mindfulness is about paying attention to something, only observing and being aware of it without judging or looking for meaning.
Self awareness is another step after mindfulness. Self awareness is being crtically reflective of oneself's emotions, thoughts and actions, understanding oneself without attachment.
The practice of mindfulness helps us become more self aware. By paying attention to ourselves without judgement, we are able to reflect ourself and be self aware.

This week, a practice I tried from the book was a body scan. I've done less directed, shorter, body scans in the past. I experienced the same relaxation and calming as I have done in the past. Something I did not expect was the joy felt when I recognised that my mind had been wandering. I couldn't place why I felt joy but it often occurred as I regained my focus.
The concluding part of the body scan was to entertain a positive memory and then focus on how the body responds to this memory. This part was less enjoyable as it was difficult for me to focus on a positive memory without remembering negative things linked to it. It felt a little like dredging up the past, feeling less immersive than an in-the-moment attention.

An insight given at the end of the reading was "my emotions are not me". Thinking about emotions as an experience allows me to be aware of them without getting caught up with them. It is a simple but curious idea that will help me internally verbalise emotions from "I am anxious" to "I experience a feeling of anxiousness". I believe this will help in letting emotions go.